Worst Easter Ever!
A reprint from the early days of this Substack.
New York has its famous Thanksgiving parade. And their Halloween parade is insane: anyone in a costume can march in it and last year 50,000 people did. That’s like the entire population of La Crosse, Wisconsin, marching through Greenwich Village, dressed as zombies.
I prefer New York’s Easter Parade. Every year, people dress up in their most colorful outfits and mill around Fifth Avenue. It’s like one giant parade that doesn’t go anywhere and everybody’s in it. And New Yorkers have been doing this since the 1870’s.
There are people who carry the theme too far…
And whatever the hell this guy was…
And the traditional visit by the Easter Pervert.
But suppose they gave an Easter Parade and nobody came? It happened in 2020, the year of the pandemic. New York had been in lockdown for about a month. Anyone who could flee the city left. And even though Fifth Avenue was blocked off for Easter, no one showed up.
Even the Easter Bunny was social distancing in Central Park.
The guy I felt worst for was Jesus. He showed up outside St. Patrick’s Cathedral, expecting guests. But no one showed up to his re-birthday party.
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In that picture, you look like Bad Bunny's half brother, Sad Bunny. Sad Bunny with the last two things in the dresser drawer who has to do laundry today. Thank you for continuing to keep me in touch with things I would never see otherwise.