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Joey Green's avatar

And speaking of British pop stars, in 1982, Ozzy Osbourne was arrested for urinating on the Alamo. A shining moment in his career.

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Rebecca Reynolds's avatar

Robert Wuhl and I had a "Chicle" run in one of our Assume the Positions. When flat-broke Santa Anna was in exile on Staten Island, he ran into inventor Thomas Adams, and convinced Adams they'd become rich by inventing a cheap rubber substitute from chicle, the sap from the sapodilla tree. Santa Anna had brought a supply of chicle with him to NY. Inspired Adams sunk lots of money into the project, but never able to make it into rubber. But hold for it...he was able to become super rich by turning chicle into chewing gum. Along with his son, they built the largest chewing gum factory in the world. Check out Chicle: The Chewing Gum of the Americas!

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John Reiss's avatar

Great mix of information and humor. I wish my Hebrew school classes were more like Mike’s articles. I may not remember my Haftorah, but I now I will always remember the Alamo.

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Brian Scully's avatar

Mike, thanks for keeping alive the word “jerk”.

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John Goese's avatar

Agreed Mike, the Alamo is tiny! Also, did you know that The Louisiana Purchase occurred because that French dwarf, Napoleon, wanted to fund his Napoleonic Wars? What an idiot! Randy Newman was right, short people have no reason to live.

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Xeerox F's avatar

Since Mr. Reiss is a well-known stickler for historical accuracy, I must point out that Napoleon was not in fact a dwarf. He was actually apparently 5 foot 6 inches, making him slightly above average for the average tiny little Frenchman of the time. (Napoleon, not Mike Reiss.) And the Alamo is actually huge. Or maybe that was an Alamo rent-a-car place at the airport? (From now on I will leave the comedy to the professional substack writers.)

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John Goese's avatar

.....ah say that was a JOKE son........ https://imgur.com/gallery/thats-joke-son-93O5Abp

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Sarah Marshall's avatar

Who would argue with Foghorn Leghorn?

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John Goese's avatar

"....Wah - Ah say Miss Sara, Ah couldn't agree with you more!...."

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